Bad Dreams

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I miss you so much.. its been 3 months and I hurt everyday.. cry every night. At night I lay in bed and can see a big tear in my energy.. tentacles of light ripped reaching out for you.. a void in my soul.    I know you have moved on.. but I hope you are okay..  I truly did love you and your daughter with all of my heart.. I still do.   I don't think I will ever love again. everywhere I look.. I see your face.. You come to me in dreams.. asking me why.. You were my Angel.. and my whole world.  love you..

The past 3 nights, you been in my dreams.  One night, walking with me, driving with me to our spot near the train tracks.. where we walked, talked, toked, ate.. You turned to me with tears in your eyes saying "Love me.."   Asking me again why I left.. you know why.. it hurt too much and was killing my light but I still loved you.. I thought I was strong enough.

I awake from that, pain in my chest and head.

I try to take a nap.. I am with you again.  Sitting on a bed talking.. asking if you really loved me at all or was it all just being used.  You replied you loved me but knew you were abusive and tried to mold me into yourself.    I said maybe we can work this out.. I love every part of you, even your faults.. even your darkness.. and I would walk through hell to save you.. even if it means to lose my own self.. You are my twin flame.  You replied but I am with my new man now and he comes home soon.. I need to know and look in my heart and you have to be willing to do all I ask..   But I would possibly leave him to have you back.

I then began to see flashes of them being intimate.  I saw an image of him choking her, darkness around them both, her eyes turning bloodshot. 

I woke up.

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