As I jump ahead to more recent times, a lot of life changes have come my way over the past 4 years. One major life experience was losing my father in September of 2012. My father Richard, had passed away in his sleep due to complications from ongoing heart disease. I had just recently moved 3,000 miles from the east coast to the west coast to the state of Washington. My father had suffered for many years toward the end of his life, very severe depression, and on occasions had actually attempted suicide.  At times he would just sit and stare at the walls, as if his normal self was not present in his body.  When he was well, he was jovial, witty, liked to joke around, would talk your ear off and tell strangers on the street his entire life story if they allowed it. Surprisingly a month before he died, he called me out of the blue for my birthday. He was back to his old self, joking with me on the phone and we had made plans for him to possibly move out west and li...

... well I thought I was moving on but I must have had a mental relapse over the weekend.. but it seemed to be some type of spiritual emotional release.. Either that or I time traveled, lets just say it was a very vivid memory.. As my current situation goes, currently in middle of divorce. This experience I had during sleep, is similar to others I have had over the past year or so, but nothing this intense, every time I thought about it I started crying, in fact almost wrecked in the rain last night I was so overcome with so much grief. 10 years ago. I am pulling up outside her apartment. I just helped her move in a week or so before. I see her look out through the curtain, she is waiting anxiously for me. I have the letter she just wrote me sitting in my passenger seat. She signed it "Your eternal companion." I walk to the door and she opens it up with the biggest smile on her face. I am saying to myself in my mind, "Turn back now, this isn't real....