Showing posts from January, 2020

Poetry: Broken

As I lay down another eve, alone without you near. I pray a lighted star shines down upon you and that you see, Despite the darkness and the pain, how much you truly meant to me. As the shadows flee my room, and your face escapes my grasp, I hold onto hope that the love that once was shone.. will one day spark within you at last. In my dreams.. you are there, tears in your eyes and a broken heart. Darkness may have fallen upon the bright Angel that I knew. But there will always be a light above, to guide you through. You saw joy within me, and desired it for your own, And I freely gave, because I cared for you so. But now my joy is gone, and I cry alone. I know you have moved on, But one day you'll look back, once the anger has passed, and you'll remember that summer we had, and may your eyes light up again, as the night gives way to dawn. I tried to heal your broken heart, but in so doing I lost myself. There is no one I have ever loved more true, as the greatest sacrifice I

Bad Dreams

I miss you so much.. its been 3 months and I hurt everyday.. cry every night. At night I lay in bed and can see a big tear in my energy.. tentacles of light ripped reaching out for you.. a void in my soul.    I know you have moved on.. but I hope you are okay..  I truly did love you and your daughter with all of my heart.. I still do.   I don't think I will ever love again. everywhere I look.. I see your face.. You come to me in dreams.. asking me why.. You were my Angel.. and my whole world.  love you.. The past 3 nights, you been in my dreams.  One night, walking with me, driving with me to our spot near the train tracks.. where we walked, talked, toked, ate.. You turned to me with tears in your eyes saying "Love me.."   Asking me again why I left.. you know why.. it hurt too much and was killing my light but I still loved you.. I thought I was strong enough. I awake from that, pain in my chest and head. I try to take a nap.. I am with you again.  Sitting on a bed

Sat. 11/9/2019

Bored. Lonely and sad. Headache. No one to talk to and the person I need the most, I've cut out of my life. I've been sick all day with a migraine.  Blood pressure up.  Took a walk today down town. In a daze. Had lunch alone. I am usually with her on the weekends, second weekend without her.  Her last words to me, that I was scum.  My last words to her were that I loved her, take care of herself, love herself and her baby. Room mate been vaping all day - smells bad - making headache worse.  I am trying to get better.. but each day the pain is worse, the longing - the constant struggle in my mind not to contact her.  I can't see how she is. I can't see her facebook.   I log onto my Ps4.. to see if she is playing any games.. she has not been on in a week.    She may be trying to move on.  Looking for a new guy perhaps. But I know and I feel she is hurting. I have to constantly remind myself how draining it was, how stressful it was, even though she needed me and c

I miss her dearly

Everyday is harder. How am I supposed to let go, when every time I close my eyes, I see your face. When I am alone, I can still feel your pain.  When I am falling asleep, I can hear your voice calling me, and as I fade off, you are waiting for me there, telling me you miss me, holding my hand and asking why did I leave you, if I loved you.