Shock to the System aka Job from Hell

I've started on my second week of my new job at FedEx, I don't know what I was thinking signing up there other than the $11 an hour on my mind, and I wanted people to be proud of me that I finally got out an got work, but I'm close to saying screw them.

Everyone I talked to beforehand said the job was really hard and didn't recommend I do it if I am not used to the labor. But I did it anyway. I've lost 5 pounds in the past 3-4 days, probably mostly sweat. They have me working on 4 trucks bouncing back and forth at the same time, and all the belts / chutes trucks are all backed up like crazy, and most of the time I am by myself when I thought I was supposed to have someone work with me, but the dock manager took all the guys down to other trucks that were too busy. So Monday I ended up with chest pains into my hands, my mouth, head began hurting, I got dizzy and almost passed out twice. Kept loosing my footing. By 8 Pm I could barely lift anything my arms wouldn't lift above my head. Then I started hallucinating, the numbers on the labels were moving around, the abbreviation for a state changed twice on me as I looked at it. Then I looked outside and saw a spider but it appeared to be huge and flying up in the air twirling around, then I threw up twice.

The most I can compare it to is walking non stop for 4 hours, while getting boxes thrown at you in every direction, bruises all over, while noises and some guy yelling over the speaker system non stop. It literally feels like getting beat up while being yelled at. And all the energy I soak in from all the different packages, its so fast paced but when I do get time to think, I just get so angry about that and things going on in my personal life that my system just totally shut down when I got home, and I wanted to drown myself in the bathtub.

People tell me the first 2-3 weeks are brutal so hopefully I can stand it that long. I could barely sleep all I kept seeing were packages coming non stop.

I'm overloaded I feel I could crack any day now.

I feel so bad lately, physically, emotioanlly and mentally.

How much more shit can I take God?


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