I thought I would get one last entry in before we flip over to the New Year tonite. I had a pretty decent Christmas this year. I got some really nice stuff from Carrie, an MP3 sony CD player, a leather jacket, nice shirts, and a new computer chair so my ass doesn't hurt as much ;) I got her several different good smelling candles, and some chocolates and fuzzy socks with puppies on them. The kids were happy this year, they got pretty much everything they asked for. My son got his Yu-gi-oh duel disc and his new Cybertron Optimus Prime, and Katie got stuffed animals out the whazoo ;) I was really sick last night with pounding headache and fever, and still a little yucky today. I am not sure what it was, I have a week off school, so I head back on Tuesday. If I feel up to it I will study some this weekend. I got back in touch with my friend Troy who I have not talked to in couple years, only for him to lose his job the next day, and he has his first baby due in 6 weeks. I was hop...

Yesterday I felt tired and bleh most of the day. We had a short Christmas party with food at school, as I was eating pizza my stomach felt weird and I started getting nauseous and sweaty. I was not sure if something was coming on or if it was just stress. But after I finished my second slice of pizza it got worse then around 12:30 I got sick in the bathroom and told the instructor I was going home early, about 3-4 other people left to either due to illness or had Christmas plans. I went home and not too long I went for a nap and slept til about 5, uneasy and woke up in fever and sweating but during the evening I felt better. Around 10PM Carrie and I went to bed, and my head started hurting, nose stuffy. She rolled over as usual without even saying good nite, complained about my breathing instead, and I started off to sleep. I then am laying there and I am awoken by her again saying "I'm sorry I forgot to say goodnite." Then she kissed me, and I was taken back. I s...

Meanwhile in the life of Tom Marvalo (the kitten we gave away) Only 9 more days until Christmas. My kids are getting excited when I told them its only about a week. Tomorrow Carrie is heading up north to pick up a tree from her Dad's house, so maybe we will be decorating it tomorrow night. I am still getting good grades in school and we finally got past the gluteal massage, it was not as traumatic as I thought it would be ;) I don't remember half of mine since I fell asleep, think I woke myself up snoring and remember the instructor calling to me. I'm actually getting some gifts this year, I think all I got last year pretty much was a bag of rocks from my daughter. I just got finished reading the book "What Dreams may Come" within 3 days. I have not read a book that fast in a long time. There is a lot of info in there that reminds me of myself and circumstances, the book is better than the movie in terms of explaining much more detail and how soul mates work, how ...

late night ramblings cant sleep again feel alone worried about the future not looking forward to separation dont want to hurt my kids dont want to lose carrie... its unfair its uncertain i want peace of mind and heart what i want for christmas to open a card and for that card to say "I love you Todd and I am staying with you" nothing would make me happier but i fear christmas will come and go without what I want the most but at least I get to spend it with her and the kids but in the back of my mind I will always know it could be happier well time for bed goodnite

THANK YOU Thank you for chasing me and holding me down as you tickled and kissed me then rubbed my head on the ground Thank you for being a friend when no one else would one day as we rode our bikes together and I tried to keep up as much as my dorky legs could Thank you for saving my life from drowning that day in the Middleburg pool and for wearing that white bikini that made an  introverted  boy drool Thank you for sitting with me in back of the van on the way home from the beach with your head on my lap as I peeked at your tan (and how far down it did reach) Thank you for being my first real crush that day I kissed you for the first time on the lips and I laughed as you blushed Thank you for for sitting and talking with me that day as you showed me your art and for allowing me to show you another side of my heart Thank you for finding me years later again and for trusting in me and being a friend Thank you for being the first girl to ever sleep in my bed to suprise me and ...

I have not had much desire to update my blog lately, to be honest most of the reason I wrote in here was because I knew my wife read it daily, and cared about the things I said, looked forward to it, but I just don't feel she is interested anymore (and if you are hon let me know) She has been the main purpose for a lot of things in my life, sorry she did not know that before. I doubt anyone else really reads this much anyway. On a lighter note Brad Pitt's adopting Angela Jolie's baby and Vince Vaughn got pulled over drinking with Jennifer Aniston. If anyone out there does care if I update this, email me. I don't get good emails anymore, just short simple, hows the kids doing and a box full of spam and FWDs: from my grandma. I'm Bored. Got a test on tuesday I guess I should go finish studying for it. Todd